Whats with all the squirrels?

Okay Okay,
Many of you have been asking me what my infatuation with squirrels is about. It's time I come clean... I actually really really hate the vermin. It has been a hate-hate relationship for some time. Squirrels and I go back a long time in our battle to see who can have the last laugh...

(Squirrel Tail #1)
It all started many years ago when I was pedaling the Denali Highway. We had some friends who were driving back to the lower 48 in their motorhome that offered to drop 4 of us off at Paxson Lake near Paxson, Alaska. The plan was to pedal the 135 mile-ish dirt road to Cantwell, then turn north and pedal to Denali National Park. From there we were to catch the train back to Anchorage. All in all, it was a leisure 200 mile fully loaded, self-sustained camping trip. There are very little services, so filtering our water and packing our own food was a must.

Now, when taking on a trip like this, thought goes into the food. Regular bread is a no-no bungee-corded to a pedal bike in the middle of wilderness... it just doesn't hold up. The perfect hardy travel bread for trips like this are bagels. My favorite bagel in the whole wide world is the sesame bagel.




So I run off to The Bagel Factory only to learn they have no sesame bagels! There is only 1 left! Disgusted with the fact that Anchorage (at that time) only had one bagel shop, I took the last sesame and settled for 5 of a different flavor. Off we go to start our trip.

Hours later, we were dropped off at Paxson Lake. One of our drivers had been studying the Milepost and asks, as we depart, if we really want to be camping here. The Milepost has Paxson Lake listed as mosquito capital of the USA. Great!

In camp I set down my pack and bag on the picnic table while others get to pitching tents and other camp duties. I turned my back for not even 30 seconds, and I hear this noise behind me. I quickly glance back at the picnic table, and there is this big fat squirrel sitting on the table... holding my prized sesame bagel! Not only had he gnawed threw the bag in 2 seconds, but he selected the trophy bagel from the bag. We locked eyes. There was NO WAY this guy was stealing my bagel! I gave chase. He underestimated the load and couldn't scramble away as intended. He evaded and started bouncing sideways... I gained ground. He evaded again. I almost had the little F**ker. He got away. I took some satisfaction in the fear he had in his eyes. Then he stopped, when he knew he had won, and looked back at me... as if to say.. nanny nanny na na...
I was crushed. I was forced to travel on with no sesame bagel!

(Two of the riders pedaling the Denali Highway)
Thus began my life-long hate of squirrels....

Next issue... Yukon River Rat (bad squirrel does Europeans bad)